The MIT Experience

I earned by B.S. in chemical engineering from SUNY Buffalo in May 2016. I graduated with a 3.98 GPA, earning straight As, save three A-minuses, one in English (doesn’t count), one in physics lab (hadn’t taken a pre-req course), and one in computer programming (the irony). In my science and engineering courses, I would be disappointed if I didn’t score the highest in the class on exams, and I didn’t find it difficult to beat the average on tests by 30 or more percentage points.

I applied to a few PhD programs my senior year and one master’s program (M.S.CEP program at MIT). I didn’t really know what I wanted after undergrad and was especially skeptical about spending 5 years of my life doing research. I was in biochemistry lecture when I received my admissions email from MIT “congratulations, you’ve been accepted into the M.S.CEP program at MIT.” No way I was passing up that opportunity.

Given my performance in undergrad, I rolled up to MIT in September 2016 with quite a bit of confidence. I finished near or at the top of my class at a reasonably good engineering school, so MIT should be no problem, right?

Wrong. Dead wrong. See the thing is in MIT’s graduate chemE program, every student there was at the top of his/her undergraduate class (obviously), not only from schools like SUNY Buffalo, but also from schools like Cal Tech, Stanford, Northwestern, Berkeley, Princeton, Yale. This was the best of the best (again, obviously).

I quickly found my place, which was pretty near the bottom of the ladder. I could hardly keep up. In undergrad, if I ever had trouble with material, the solution was simple: just study a little harder than my classmates did. At MIT, that strategy doesn’t work; everyone studies just as hard as you, if not harder. It felt like performance came down to raw intellect, and mine paled in comparison to my classmates’. I quickly found myself regularly scoring below average on exams and homework assignments and I became, for the first time in my entire life, a B student.

My first semester performance did a number on my ego. I began to ask myself questions such as: should I really be here? Why did they let me in? Is this a mistake? Did the admissions board misread something? I honestly had no idea if I would make it through the program; no matter what I did, the result was the same: B student (barely). I was beaten by my classmates, plain, fair, and simple.

There is a saying that goes something along the lines of “you’re not growing unless you’re out of your comfort zone.” If my comfort zone was planet Earth, then MIT was Pluto, or maybe the Andromeda Galaxy. For the first time in my entire life, I had to ask for help. I had to ask TAs, professors, and most importantly, my classmates. Without my classmates (particularly one very benevolent PhD student), I never would have made it through the program. I would have failed out. For the first time in my life, I had to rely on other people for academic help. My fate was in their hands.

By some grace of God (or rather the grace of the benevolent PhD student and TAs who took pity on me), I passed all my first semester classes. I became comfortable with the fact that my classmates were straight up better than I was and that no matter what I did, I would never be as good as they were. It was just a fact of life.

In parallel to the ongoing annihilation of my ego, something else was happening: growth. I was growing both academically and personally. I learned how to face challenges, how to ask for help, how to accept defeat (again and again and again), how to cope with not coming in first, and how to stop second guessing myself.

Once I got over the stress and fear, I began to feel at home. Never in my life had I connected with classmates or friends the way I did with those at MIT. The amount I learned from them is immeasurable. Whenever I needed help, they were there; someone always knew how to do it and would help me through it.

I found I could collaborate effectively with my classmates, and we fed off each other’s strengths, especially during the project-based portion of the program. Working on a team with my classmates was like a well-oiled machine functioning at peak performance. I have yet to replicate the level of productivity I experienced with my MIT classmates in my professional career.

Given the above point, one may assume that it was perfectly smooth sailing while working with my classmates; however, that couldn’t be farther from the truth. Oftentimes, disagreements led to arguments, and arguments led to plenty of four-letter words being thrown around. Good thing our co-op host company gave us a private office!

Interestingly, I actually believe that our tendency to state our perspectives and/or criticize each other and ourselves in such an unpolished manner was instrumental to our success. Although calling somebody a fucking dumbass is usually unacceptable in the professional world, in the Practice School, anything flies!

On the other hand, some of our arguments weren’t as productive, like when my classmate tried to fight me while waiting for the bus home from work because I referred to Stonehenge as a “pile of rocks” (is it not?) and then subsequently threw a temper tantrum in the kitchen when we got back to our apartment. In addition to a piss pot, there were also a few of your typical class pervs, but after a while, you learn to appreciate everyone.

I strongly believe that I learned more in my year at MIT than I did during my four years of undergrad, and I know I developed immensely from both an academic and non-academic standpoint. When I was in the heat of the program, I was continually looking forward to the end, thinking about how happy I would be and successful I would feel. When I finished, I wasn’t happy, I was sad. I didn’t want to leave. I didn’t want to go back to “normal,” where things progressed slowly and comfortably. I didn’t want to go back to being the most knowledgeable person in the room. I didn’t want to stagnate, I wanted to continue to grow. Unfortunately, I have yet to find a similar environment for growth in my professional career.

Overall, I give the MIT experience an 11/10, piss pots, perverts, and all.